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Part One: Good reasons for Self Storage (Sarcastic and True)

March 31st, 2012 · No Comments

Some people just do not get a human’s simple need to have several animal heads on the wall  in their home .  Nor do some people  follow the reasoning for why you would  ever think to place  animals you have successfully  de-breathed  on a taxidermy display in your front foyer . 

But you know why.  Exactly why.

It is an honorable thing to have stuffed  mammals/reptiles  hanging up and even hanging out in your space .  It is a reminder that we are not invincible.  It is a reminder that we are easily killed off by culture’s hunters.  Social Darwinism, baby!  It is also a reminder to other animals who look into your windows that they too could come into your scope  and join your own personal flock of beasts.

And it says to every visitor:  I have dominion over God’s creation.  I am Hunter (not the TV Show). I have  bows and arrows  and  a loaded gun collection you cannot fit into the bed of a dually truck a thirst for bobcat blood    .  I have good aim.  I  I have internal locational GPS to  to find stupid and/or suicidal animals.  I kill things for fun .  I am a member at the taxidermy club.  I show off my dead friends to everyone who drops by.  If I ever lose my temper with you, I also have the power, the fury and the inclination to stuff a mammal like you, neighbor.

I get it too.  I totally understand.  I know many of them.

This is not a person who drinks soy milk or ever says the word “Holistic.” 

And they need a place to showcase their furry ideals –

 Self Storage Facilities  are perfect places for such persons.

They can  get  a long-term rental unit for every single dead animal and not worry about someone  busting  in to steal their treasure.  As well, they can stop worrying about the incessant inquisitions coming from their wives and/or “animal loving” visitors at the homestead.

 Of course, it  is not ideal to have to drive a ways to hang out with their death trophies, but the good outweighs the  difficulty  .  A little  gas  cost for some peace and quiet among the forest creatures who no longer breathe but sure look like they might .

No one is gonna yell at them at the storage unit for listening to the baseball game while sitting on the back of their moose carcass with beer in hand. It is just that person, a case of Bud light and the whack of the bat on the ball amidst faux-nature.

If you have such need for a dead animal storage home base, make sure to find ones in your area that are like the following:

Self Storage Lubbock Texas

 Storage Lubbock   Storage Lubbock Tx

These mentioned above are models for the sort you will want.  Do not settle for a shoddy and unsecured unit when Bambi deserves better.  Get the best and then go back to the hunt.

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